Dating Websites – Things that turn Women OFF from your profile, at least this woman!

January 18, 2010

So I don’t normally put personal things on this blog, but I feel like this is a bit of a public service.  Will anyone read this blog?  Probably not, but here goes.

I am currently going through a divorce, after being in a nine year long relationship, seven year marriage after discovering my husband was gay.  It has been extremely traumatic for me; and my friends and family are trying to get me “out there” to try to date, and because I am a freelancer and my social life revolves around the New York Burlesque and Alt-Comedy scenes, I don’t even KNOW a lot of men.  Which leads me to online dating.  I know it is hell out there trying to date in NYC, but boys here are some things on your profiles that just make me want to RUN!

Things that make me Cringe.

1. Semi-nude or posed shirtless photos.  I am not talking about hanging with your friends at the beach photos, but obviously staged photos of yourself as naked as possible, the “classiest” taken by yourself with a cell phone into a mirror.  Now would you walk up to a stranger and flex while half naked? Maybe you would.  Then you are not the boy for me.

2. Overly long profiles.  I don’t really bother if they are super long.  The photo tells me so much, if I am not attracted, I am not attracted and when I see a really long profile I just think “oh great work!” and I move on.  There are thousands of guys out there.  Keep it simple.

3. Overly ANGRY profiles! Don’t complain about all the other women you have dated in your profile!!!!  We have all been through the mill, who doesn’t bitch about an X or two?  But please not on the profile!  It is also not a great place to tear down my entire gender.  You are looking for a WOMAN right? Then stop bitching about them.  And my favorite line so far “Be EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE…leave your baggage at home, think positive and let’s have a good time”  And yes he used all caps.  So I need to be emotionally available for him, but I am not allowed to discuss my own problems.  Well at least he is straightforward.  HA!

4. Don’t lie about your age.  This one is fairly obvious, oh and pay attention to my age range, if you are 10 years over my limit….seriously???  And I think the magical age on these sites is 49, we all know you are not 49, who are you kidding?  If you are looking like my dad, we know you are NOT 49.

5. Sunglasses in your primary photo really? They warn you not to do this, and I can see why, they make you look incredibly pretentious and I can’t really see your face?   Brooding?  Sexy? Mysterious?  No.  I have over 200 in a search I am not going to take the time to see what lies beneath!

6. Don’t continually pester me repeatedly if I don’t respond to your “wink” I am doing you a favor, I am not interested, there are so many women out there.  And my least favorite tactic is when I spend all of 5 minutes checking my e-mail on there and I get a “Hey I see you are online, did you get my “wink”?, What is your number?  We should go out some time?”  This has happened more than once, so do these guys LIVE online?  Ready to pounce?  Creepy!!!

7. Less philosophy – Just the facts – Now some women may disagree but the more “crazytown this is how I see the universe” you get the more I want to hit that little X button at the top of your profile and never see your mug again.  I get it, but then I don’t get it.  And lines like “What can you expect from me….the unexpected!” or “Your Mr. Right is Right here!” honestly?  Does that work for anyone????

8. Limit on the Action/Adventure shots.  OK I get it you like Scuba diving, but one photo would have been enough, seven of you with goggles and I still can’t see your face!

9. Be realistic about distance – OK I live in BROOKLYN, dating someone in the Bronx would be considered a long distance relationship.  Philadelphia? Don’t they have women in Philadelphia?  I don’t want to move and that is just way too much effort if I don’t already know and love ya!

10. Try to look STRAIGHT! - Now this is probably the most controversial thing I am bitching about.  Because after all what is looking or acting straight?  I of all people should know, I married a gay man, HA!  We all know there are many shades to the rainbow.  But having all your photos be of yourself in clubs surrounded by beautiful men, perfectly manicured with stunning wardrobes and amazing haircuts, isn’t really screaming “I love women”!   I think I have sadly seen many a deep closet case looking for the wrong gender on these sites.  Sad.

11. Boys, be Realistic about YOUR age range. – So you are 45.  And your age range is 22-28?  Are you independently wealthy?  Are you devastatingly handsome?  Are you hysterical and loaded with wit and charm? Maybe you can bag a 22 year old, but my suspicion by the look of your photo/profile is that you have never dated in your life!  Come on!

12. I am MORE than a womb! - So I just saw a profile where all the guy talked about was wanting children.  He wanted 2 children and wanted to start trying in the next 1-2 years.  I am like DUDE!  Let’s go on a date first!  I understand his need to reproduce, but if your entire profile is about baby making.  YIKES!


New York Burlesque and Photographers – Who is using who?

January 13, 2010

So I will admit that as a producer of Burlesque in New York city I have a love/hate relationship with the mostly amateur photographers who frequent my shows.  Most are men and some are extremely talented and generous with their photos.  However I had an incident last night with a photographer who I am not going to name, because I don’t want to start a personal fight with the man.   But I would love it if he actually read this blog.  He was generally rude, and was blocking some of the audience to “get his shot”.  Audience members came up to me during intermission to complain about him.

Now I know performers always need good shots for publicity reasons, and I would love to help them out, but my audience is more important to me than ANYTHING!  Without an audience I have no show.

So I have since changed my policy.   All photographers must be approved before the night of the show, unless they are a photographer that I have worked with before and know I can trust.  Too many times people have photographed a show and I haven’t received any photos, I don’t know where they end up, and I assume the dancers have also been exploited, not to mention the disruption some make to the show.   I am sick of it.

I wish more photographers would do the following

Contact me before the show.

An ambush by a total stranger with a camera the night of a show is very unsettling.  I am easy to find and get ahold of.  If you want to shoot my show, please send me an e-mail beforehand so I don’t feel caught off guard.  As with any show I have a million other things to think about, please respect that and give me some notice.

Don’t just take our photo – Give us shots!

Have some system set up for the performers to get the shots agreed to beforehand; or just give us some idea when we might see them.   And if you need your name attached to the photo, just let us know.

Do not disrupt the show

Again seems like common sense but I have photographers block audience members, annoy dancers and even in one case call me out by my real name and ask me to move a microphone so that he could get a better shot.   If you never want to shoot my show again, that is a good way to get yourself banned!

Throw something in the tip bucket, or buy a raffle ticket!

So I know as a photographer, you are working, but we are working too.  It doesn’t have to be much, but it is a nice gesture for the beautiful people that just let you photograph them for free.   It is amazing how much just a couple of bucks dropped in the hat will improve your reputation with a producer.

Be polite

Please don’t approach me or any producer with “I am going to shoot…”  How about, “Hello my name is, I am a photographer would it be all right if I….”  We are all human and some of us, myself included are a bit socially awkward.  But lets do our best here to act professionally.

Don’t Post Photos in Inappropriate venues

Basically if any producer finds out that Burlesque photos are being distributed or sold on a inappropriate website or other adult themed venue without consent, you will be banned!!!!!  Seems like common sense but I know other performers have had problems with this in the past

Please don’t post any unflattering or disturbing photos

As anyone knows, a photo is a sliver in time, and no one looks amazing at every angle or in every body position.  Please consider this when posting photos that we are working for free as your models.  Try to make us look good, you don’t have to post the entire roll, you can edit.    Or as Jo Boobs the Burlesque legend wanted me to add and I am quoting her directly “Ask them also to please not post any photos that we would not want someone who might be booking us to see”.

And to my favorite Photographers – Thank You

I want to add for all of the bad apples out there with a lens, I have had many good experiences.  Photographers such as Paul Ferris, Ed Barnas, Norman Blake, Matt Bressler, Monty Leman, and a few others have given me amazing photos promptly and professionally.  Thank you!


Why I can’t stand Semi-homemade with Sandra Lee

October 2, 2009

So I know I am not alone in my disdain for this woman, based on multiple venom filled comments I have seen on youtube clips of her show.  Sandra Lee, host and creator of the Food Network’s Semi-homemade is either loved and adored by her fans or hated and ridiculed by her critics.  She has made a fortune off of selling the idea that pre-made highly processed food can be re-assembled and reheated to make “home-cooked” meals.  Well I am one of those pesky critics who disagree with that notion.  I have been cooking and baking mostly from scratch since I was a child.  It may take a little practice but cooking high quality nutritious food is really not that difficult.

But what really gets to me about her is this homespun, wholesome image she tries to portray while she makes “cocktails” that would make a wino sick, and uses a ridiculous amount of sexual innuendo and flirting while “cooking”.   And don’t even get me started on the “TABLE SCAPES”   Who could possibly have different plates, glasses, accessories, etc. for each theme party?  She put a chair in the middle of a table as a centerpiece!  What in the name of all things holy is that all about? And as far as the sexual undertones, I really wouldn’t have a problem with it if she had a show called food porn and just went there!  But the playing both sides of the Madonna/Whore stereotype really makes me crazy.

For example the clambake episode where she removes the beards from clams and then of all things makes fish tacos, while flashing her stripper sized breasts in a short red mini-dress with pigtails.  This is an adult woman, she knows exactly what she is doing!   Lets make two dishes that are both slang terms for vaginas in one episode while looking like a street walker!   Sandra Lee drove me so mad, I decided to do a parody of her.  I realize that she has a very specific audience and I didn’t really think it would be a huge hit or anything, but here we go, her Clambake, and my Parody!


Does a Democratic President equal more violent attacks on Abortion providers?

June 13, 2009

So in regards to another post about violence by right wing extremists I noticed an odd pattern that no one in the media has brought up.  When a Democrat is in the white house do these groups become more extreme and desperate?  Does the violence increase?  The mainstream media acts as if these incidents are a thing of the past, but when I looked this up I noticed an extreme spike during the Clinton Administration.  There were incidents during George W. Bush’s two terms, but none were of the assassination style that we saw with many of the deaths during the Clinton administration and more recently of Dr. Tiller under the Obama Administration.   

Murders of Abortion providers by presidency.
(All taken directly from wikipedia.org) If you have any additional or conflicting information, please by all means share. Entries have been edited for length.

1973 Rove vs. Wade – President Nixon – Republican

1976-1980 Jimmy Carter – Democrat

(No violent incidents towards clinics)

1980-1988 Ronald Reagan – Republican

PROPERTY DAMAGE

December 25, 1984: An abortion clinic and two physicians’ offices in Pensacola, Florida were bombed in the early morning of Christmas Day

1988-1992 George H. W. Bush – Republican 

(No violent incidents towards clinics)

1992-2000 Bill Clinton – Democrat

(Nearly ALL abortion provider deaths occurred during his presidency)

DEATHS

March 10, 1993: Dr. David Gunn of Pensacola, Florida was fatally shot during a protest.

July 29, 1994: Dr. John Britton and James Barrett, a clinic escort, were both shot to death outside of another facility in Pensacola.

December 30, 1994: Two receptionists, Shannon Lowney and Lee Ann Nichols, were killed in two clinic attacks in Brookline, Massachusetts.

January 29, 1998: Robert Sanderson, an off-duty police officer who worked as a security guard at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, Alabama, was killed when his workplace was bombed.

October 23, 1998: Dr. Barnett Slepian was shot to death at his home in Amherst, New York.

Another doctor, George Patterson, was shot and killed in Mobile, Alabama on August 21, 1993, but it is uncertain whether his death was the direct result of his profession or rather a robbery.

OTHER DEATHS OR INJURIES

August 19, 1993: Dr. George Tiller was shot outside of an abortion facility in Wichita, Kansas.

July 29, 1994: June Barret was shot in the same attack which claimed the lives of James Barrett, her husband, and Dr. John Britton.

December 30, 1994: Five individuals were wounded in the same-day shootings which killed Shannon Lowney and Lee Ann Nichols.

December 18, 1996: Dr. Calvin Jackson of New Orleans, Louisiana was stabbed 15 times, losing 4 pints of blood.

October 28, 1997: Dr. David Gandell of Rochester, New York was injured by flying glass when a shot was fired through the window of his home.

January 29, 1998: Emily Lyons, a nurse, was severely injured in the bombing which also killed Robert Sanderson.

ACTS OF ARSON

October 1999: Martin Uphoff set fire to a Planned Parenthood clinic in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, causing US$100 worth of damage.

May 28, 2000: An arson at a clinic in Concord, New Hampshire on resulted in damage estimated at US$20,000.

September 30, 2000: A Catholic priest drove his car into the Northern Illinois Health Clinic after learning that the FDA had approved the drug RU-486. He pulled out an ax before being shot at by a security guard.

2000-2008 George W. Bush – Republican 

PROPERTY DAMAGE/ARSON

June 11, 2001: An unsolved bombing at a clinic in Tacoma, Washington destroyed a wall, resulting in US$6000 in damages.

November 2001: Clayton Waagner mailed hoax letters containing a white powder to 554 clinics.

July 4, 2005: A clinic Palm Beach, Florida was the target of an arson. 

December 12, 2005: Patricia Hughes and Jeremy Dunahoe threw a Molotov cocktail at a clinic in Shreveport, Louisiana.

September 13, 2006: David McMenemy of Rochester Hills, Michigan crashed his car into the Edgerton Women’s Care Center in Davenport, Iowa. He then doused the lobby in gasoline and then started a fire.  Edgerton was not an abortion clinic.

April 25, 2007: A package left at a women’s health clinic in Austin, Texas contained an explosive device capable of inflicting serious injury or death.

May 9, 2007: An unidentified person deliberately set fire to a Planned Parenthood clinic in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

December 6, 2007: Chad Altman and Sergio Baca were arrested for the arson of Dr. Curtis Boyd’s clinic in Albuquerque. 

2008 – Present Barack Obama – Democrat

DEATHS

May 31, 2009: Dr. George Tiller was shot and killed as he served as an usher at his church in Wichita, Kansas.

PROPERTY DAMAGE

January 22, 2009: Matthew L. Derosia, 32, who was reported to have had a history of mental illness rammed a SUV into the front entrance of a Planned Parenthood clinic in St. Paul, Minnesota



Right vs. Left wing extremists what is going on with all of the violence?

June 12, 2009

So I am racking my brain, but I can’t think of any actual deaths or assassinations committed by extreme left wing groups or individuals during the Bush Administration. There were a ton of protests, and some civil disobedience, but for all of the venom towards Bush and his administration I don’t recall anything nearly as violent as some of the incidents we have just witnessed.

Now we still don’t really know who was behind the anthrax murders, as there are still a lot of un-answered questions regarding that entire mess. And of course the left wing went way too far in the Sixties with bombings, and riots which did result in death and injuries to innocent people. Both sides of the political spectrum have blood on their hands. But why so much now? And why is nearly all of it directed against the left?

I honestly can’t think of any recent serious left wing violence in the United States.

I find the following disturbing
The shooting at the Unitarian Universalists church – to get random liberals (occurred under Bush Administration July 2007)
The shooting at the Holocaust Museum
The shooting of the police officers in Pittsburgh
The shooting of the Abortion Provider Dr. Tiller

I don’t like extremism on either end of the political spectrum. When people become so myopic that they refuse to see any relevance in the opposing point of view, they can resort to extremes like pure hatred, bigotry and violence. I am a big believer that once you get so far to the right or left you end up looking like the monsters you claim to hate.

So if you have any examples of left wing political action that RECENTLY resorted in fatalities in the UNITED STATES, or people being ambushed and killed please share. Also any fatal incident that was directed specifically at the BUSH ADMINISTRATION as these past few right wing incidents have been directed at the Obama administration.

I know some of the extremists in the environmentalist or animal welfare movements have committed some completely crazy violent destructive acts. But did they kill anyone? Recently? Plus they have been active during both democratic and republican administrations. As commenters have pointed out the ALF (Animal Liberation Front) and the ELF (Earth Liberation Front), both extreme and both would consider themselves left wing. So far ELF hasn’t caused any deaths and to my knowledge neither has the ALF. But both are listed as terrorist groups by the US Department of Homeland Security.

I can remember the bombing here in New York at the recruiting center in Times Square but it was done in the middle of the night, when the building was empty. No one was hurt. It was a stupid and reckless act, but it seemed that it was planned not to hurt anyone, more as an act of civil disobedience. I saw the aftermath and it was a broken window, even the authorities thought it was planned not to hurt anyone. It was incredibly stupid and would never support using violence to “make a point”.

Bush was in office for 8 years, and I other than some failed bombing attempts that did not result in any deaths, I don’t know of any ambush style assassinations like the one in Pittsburgh, the case of Dr. Tiller, or most recently at the Holocaust museum.

These recent killings trouble me because Obama has only been in office since January, so in four months we have had almost an incident per month. Two of which the killers actually used Obama as the reason for the murder.

Or as James Von Brunn was quoted in a notebook found in a car registered in his name.

“You want my weapons – this is how you’ll get them,” according to the notes outlined in federal court documents. “The Holocaust is a lie… Obama does what his Jew owners tell him to do. Jews captured America’s money. Jews control the mass media.”….”Obama was created by the Jews.”

Or in the case of the Pittsburgh shooting

Poplawski feared “the Obama gun ban that’s on the way” and “didn’t like our rights being infringed upon,” said Edward Perkovic, his best friend.

Also as I recently discovered the abortion provider shooting went up during our last Democratic president, President Clinton.

Murders
March 10, 1993: Dr. David Gunn of Pensacola, Florida was fatally shot during a protest.

July 29, 1994: Dr. John Britton and James Barrett, a clinic escort, were both shot to death outside of another facility in Pensacola.

December 30, 1994: Two receptionists, Shannon Lowney and Lee Ann Nichols, were killed in two clinic attacks in Brookline, Massachusetts.

January 29, 1998: Robert Sanderson, an off-duty police officer who worked as a security guard at an abortion clinic in Birmingham, Alabama, was killed when his workplace was bombed.

October 23, 1998: Dr. Barnett Slepian was shot to death at his home in Amherst, New York.

And the first under Obama (Hopefully the last)

May 31, 2009: Dr. George Tiller was shot and killed as he served as an usher at his church in Wichita, Kansas.

The violence continued towards abortion providers under Bush, but the incidents did not result in death, most of the damage was done to property not people.

As mad as many of us on the left got towards Bush we didn’t start shooting random people and groups we didn’t agree with. But if you have any recent incidents please, prove me wrong. And I am not going all the way back to the 1960’s or incidents in other countries. I am simply trying to compare the two administrations as they both seem to illicit strong opinions on either side. And Bush had a long presidency, so I maybe there is something out there that the media glossed over.

What I am looking for is US based incidents occurring between 2000-2008 that show violence resulting in death by a left-wing organization or individual.


Abortion Doctor killed, again. My reasons for why I think the pro-life movement is mostly a hypocritical smoke screen.

June 1, 2009

So another rant to add to the my totally random blog.

I can’t say I am a fan really of abortion, and I know it is an extremely emotional topic for many. However, I think the issue of abortion is used more for a political wedge issue than anything else.

I was raised in an extremely socially conservative Catholic family. My family was so passionate about the pro-life movement that I remember going to pro-life rallies when I was as young as four years old. As I grew older and knew women who actually had abortions my entire perspective shifted. I have never had an abortion, and I have never been pregnant, but I know women who have had abortions due to rape, unwanted pregnancy and health issues. Their actual experiences changed my point of view as well as the perceived hypocrisy of the pro-life movement.

1. Myth #1 – The profile movement cares about every embryo

If a embryo is truly a fully formed and viable human being, then why don’t pro-life advocates protest in front of fertility clinics. Many fertility treatments use multiple frozen embryos, most of which don’t survive. So are the women who have treatments like IVF murders? If they create a dozen embryos, implant only two and give birth to one baby have they “murdered” eleven babies? If the movement is going to be so staunch about protecting the womb, then why give these women a pass? A woman having an abortion may only have one or two in their entire lifetime, yet a woman using a fertility clinic might have a dozen or more embryos destroyed as most IVF treatments are unsuccessful. Personally I don’t feel that IVF or fertility treatments are immoral and if a family wants to use them in order to reproduce than its their right.

2. Myth #2 – Abortion was created in 1973, and abortions will no occur once the practice is made illegal

I think some Anti-abortion advocates think that Abortion was created in 1973, or at least they tend to act that way. The reality is that abortion has been with us almost as long as we have been around. There is evidence of abortions in ancient Rome and even Christopher Columbus documented evidence of the natives of Hispaniola practicing early term abortions. So women have always had ways of terminating an early term pregnancy many of which are unsafe. If we make abortion illegal, the practice will still go on, as it was before Roe v. Wade. Women will die, become sterile, and the wealthy will still bribe doctors, go overseas to have the procedure performed. Nothing will stop abortion.

3. The Myth that somehow GOD is punishing the US for having safe and legal surgical abortion.

This one makes me the craziest. First off, there is no mention of Abortion in the bible. Not one. You would think that such an abomination (that was around during the time of Christ) would have at least gotten a mention in the bible. Every other sin seems to, even such trivial things as wearing two different types of thread in the same garment (an abomination) so why not abortion?

And for further evidence that the theory is poppycock. Let’s look at a country with some of the strictest abortion laws in the world as an example – El Salvador. El Salvador’s laws are some of the most restrictive in the world, they even amended their constitution in 1999 to read that life begins at conception.

Now let’s look at the country of El Salvador, how is it doing? It is the most densely populated country in Central America, it has extremely high rates of crime, poverty and has even faced civil war. As far as natural disasters are concerned this tiny country its has its share hurricanes, volcanic activity, landslides, earthquakes, extreme rainstorms and oddly enough droughts. All this while 90% of the population identifies as Christian. Now I am sure the good people of El Salvador are wonderful and their country has plenty of beauty and natural resources, but so much for the theory that God is shining his light down on any country that so fervently protects the life of the unborn.

And as an agnostic I don’t think God is either punishing or rewarding any nation for its stance on abortion. The political and economic situation in El Salvador has more to do with corruption, colonization, and the IMF than with the good people of El Salvador. The natural disasters that El Salvador is plagued with have more to do with its geography than with any omniscient being deciding to unleash his judgment upon the vast majority of the Christian population living there.

Just my opinion of course, but if God is judging the United States for Abortion he has been quite kind to us considering we have by far the largest economy in the world, and for the most part have seen less disease, strife, war and unrest than nearly any other nation on the planet.

4. Myth #4 – Every pregnancy will end with a healthy baby.

According to the American Pregnancy Association Studies reveal that anywhere from 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage. Most of these occurring in the first trimester. That is a fairly large number, so even the women who chose surgical abortion 10-25% of them wouldn’t have carried to term anyway, as most abortions are performed in the first trimester. Add to that the number of women who chose abortion because their fetus is severely deformed, medically risky, or weather the child is a product of incest or rape.

Or in the case of a nine year old girl from Brazil was raped by her stepfather and became pregnant with twins as a result. The mother opted for an abortion at 15 weeks as her doctors believed her life to be in danger. Then the church steps in and excommunicates the mother and the doctors. So I guess the nine year old should have been forced to potentially die because of her stepfather’s crime.

Women are more than just wombs, in some cases it really is the life of the fetus or the life of the mother, and the mother should not be forced to make that decision by the state.

5. Myth #5 – The pro-life movement cares about babies

This is the biggest lie that I see. Of course there are some exceptions to this rule and some pro-life groups and individuals are advocates of child welfare in the US and around the world. But I do not see a lot of energy going towards the babies in the third world and developing countries. According to bio-medicine.org in the developing world approximately 4 million babies die every year before the age of one month. And according to Unicef 5,500 children die each day across the 21 countries of Southern and Eastern Africa. I also don’t see a lot of group homes, charities, or support systems for single mothers that are supported by the prolife. Again, there are some out there, but hardly enough for demand.

6. Myth #6 – Families would adopt all of the babies that are aborted each year.

This statistic really depressed me, according to the Adoption Institute In 1999, the latest year for which totals have been finalized, there were about 581,000 children in foster care in the United States.[1] Twenty-two percent of these children — about 127,000 kids — were available for adoption.

Now many of these kids are older and harder to place, but the point is, we have a lot of children on this earth RIGHT NOW who need supportive families!

7. Myth Number #7 – Pro-lifers care about ALL human life

Again, some are consistent on this. Some pro-life supporters are anti-war and anti-death penalty. But many especially on the fundamentalist viewpoint are actually pro-war and pro-death penalty. A fact that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. At least formally the Catholic church is against war, and against the death penalty. To say it is OK for the government to chose who lives or dies, but not OK for a woman and her doctor to make a health care decision is insanity.

And of course abortion clinic bombings and doctor murders are completely against any moral code of human life being precious. Many people have died or been injured due to these terrorist acts. There is no moral justification for killing one person to prevent the “murder of innocents” the women will just go to another clinic, or perform an illegal an unsafe abortion on themselves. Using the logic that is OK to kill the doctor because he was murdering babies would be the same as saying it was OK to kill the designer of a weapons system, or to kill a soldier who bombed the wrong house, or to kill a nurse who may have accidentally caused the death of an infant, or to kill a woman unsuccessfully tried IVF, or her doctor who performed the IVF and on and on. I would see the point in this crazy logic if the woman who went to Dr. George Tiller had gone to Dr. Tiller against their will. But these women instead sought Dr. Tiller out in a moment of crisis. If it wasn’t Dr. Tiller, it would have been another doctor. Some of these pro-life extremists would have the mother killed, but that would of course mean killing her unborn child, so they go after the doctor instead.

8. Myth Number 8 – Birth Control is Abortion

This one is truly maddening. The birth control pill doesn’t kill embryos, it doesn’t kill babies. This is also what makes me most believe that the heart of the pro-lfe movement isn’t about babies but about forcing women back into the traditional role of mother, and mothers that have as many babies as their God sees fit. As a childless married woman myself, not only do I see that perspective as ridiculous but it is also reckless and dangerous. Some women can’t have children, and for others due to health concerns it is dangerous for them to become pregnant. I have had a handful of friends who have nearly died during pregnancy. Two of which are now surgically sterilized. If there were to get pregnant again, it could kill them.

Not to mention to harsh reality of our planet today.

We have a world population of nearly 7 billion. Today’s estimate puts the world population at 6,706,993,152. We are quickly running out of resources such as fuel, clean water, food, space, and pretty much everything needed for human survival.

According to UNICEF, 25,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.”

Around 27-28 percent of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted. The two regions that account for the bulk of the deficit are South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

We should be encouraging the use of birth control in such overpopulated areas of the earth, not discouraging it. We should care about the children who are here and living now. More resources should be provided for those babies many of which do not live beyond their fifth year. The more mouths there are to feed, the harder it gets for families to provide for each child. I am not advocating for any forced family planning such as in China, but for women to at least be educated and have a choice in the amount of children they want to have.

If a person is truly pro-life, then they should be in every way. But it is not what I have witnessed. All I have seen is people judging other people, condemning them as murderers. Well as it says in the bible, If you are without sin, then you can cast the first stone. And as I don’t believe I can judge another woman or her situation, I believe abortion should remain legal and the right to abortion, even late term abortion, should be up to the woman’s doctor and herself. The phrase that I think puts it best is “If you are against abortion, don’t have one”. My sister had an unplanned pregnancy and she made the CHOICE to not only have her baby but to raise her. My niece is a direct result of that choice and I love her dearly. It is not an easy decision for any woman to make, but it should be her choice to make it.


If you could pick, which star of Star Trek would you pounce on?

June 1, 2009

The Men of Star Trek 2009

And if you were a somewhat A to B list starlet or a trashy media whore, who would be your first pick of the litter so to speak. VOTE!!!!


The Hunks of Star Trek, who will be the first starlet to nab one?

June 1, 2009

KirkSpock_1600The day after I saw the new Star Trek film, the FIRST woman I mentioned it to said and I quote “Aren’t the men in that movie hot”. I agreed. They are almost all disturbingly attractive. This became a theme of sorts, nearly every female I encountered would exclaim THE STAR TREK MEN ARE SO HOT!!!

Then I thought, OK so these men were for the mostly up-and-coming in the land of Hollywood and now they are all on the brink of at least temporary A list status.

Which lead me to only one conclusion. In the world of Hollywood where dating is also career building and where a man as devastatingly attractive as Zachary Quinto can go relatively unnoticed until he is in a hit film, anything is possible. Let the mergers begin. Will they go for a fame whore like Tila Tequila? Or will they get nabbed by a smoking cougar like Sharon Stone? And it seems like Drew Barrymore and Kate Hudson have dated everyone. In fact I even said, its just a matter of time before we see Kate Hudson with one of them.

We know Chris Pine has already been linked to Audrina Patridge, but I have a feeling he might “trade up” soon. As seriously what is he thinking on that one!

So since we can’t date them who will we get to watch destroy our dreams! Maybe they will surprise us and go for a quality woman, but I have a feeling at least one will get nabbed by one of these ladies.

And yes I have read the internet gossip buzz about Zachary Quinto and that he MIGHT be gay. Well I don’t care, he is brilliant, beautiful and a joy to watch on screen. If he is gay at least that would spare us all the tragedy of having to watch him hook up with some hollywood Skank like Paris Hilton. I think our hearts would shatter into a million pieces if we were to ever see that.

VOTE!!!!


Veronica Varlow has been WRONGED! I’d sue to!!!!

May 30, 2009

So one of my favorites in the Burlesque scene has just been wronged and terribly wronged. Yet another reason why I like to keep my Burlesque shows traditional (no nudity) Burlesque.

Now if you knew Veronica Varlow and how she performs you would understand how calling her a porn star is horribly outrageous. Veronica is an extremely professional classy dancer, and her final blow off of pasties (SHE ALWAYS WEARS THEM) and panties are always at the very last second. She is ALL about the journey not the destination in her act. I have never even seen her do anything remotely vulgar. She is the kind of dancer that both men and women adore.

She was mistakenly labeled in some videos by the Learning Annex, and as Young Sexy Porn Star Stripper Dancer, and also Sexy Teen Girl. Veronica is 30, not really a teen, and in no way shape or form a porn star.

So Veronica has filed a lawsuit against the company, and I wish her the best of luck. I would do the exact same thing. If she needs a witness, I am there. I doubt I could do anything to help her, but I have seen her perform many times, and she is NO PORN STAR!!!

And here is her Burlesque demo. It is so tame its not even flagged on youtube. She is wearing what most women wear to the beach and for the vast majority of the video. You really get a sense of the type of performer she is in this, which makes the label of porn star even more outrageous.

Here is a link to the actual article in the Daily News If you have a second, send her some love in the comments section!

“http://http://www.nydailynews.com/ny_local/2009/05/29/2009-05-29_hey_its_burlesque_not_porn_dancer_files_after_law_suit.html#community”


Another reason I HATE our current profit first Health Care system

May 26, 2009

I have been through the ringer in regards to health insurance coverage. Right out of college I got denied private health insurance due to “high health risks”. I don’t have any major chronic health problems and I have never had cancer. An insurance broker explained to me that over as an individual I was not profitable for the insurance companies so they would use any excuse to deny me coverage. Insurance companies make the largest amount of profit off of selling huge group plans, not off of dealing with the administrative nightmare of dealing with a bunch of self-employed individuals having their own health insurance.

As a result of this, I fought the system for several years while living in Illinois and found I could not get health insurance even though I earned enough money to pay for the premiums. It was not until I took a job at a large company with its large health insurance plan, that the same insurer, Blue Cross Blue Shield decided I was now worth the risk and included me in their plan. During the time I couldn’t get coverage I relied on clinics and even the poorly funded public health facility Cook County Hospital. I also repeatedly tried to get coverage through private insurers and was repeatedly denied.

So I have had a rough time of it. I currently live in New York State, and in New York I cannot by law be denied health insurance for any medical reason. And I am also in a group plan for freelancer’s called Freelancer’s Union. So you would think I would have no problem right?

I have no idea how difficult it might be to get a prompt appointment for a Dermatologist in another country. But in New York City, apparently it is next to impossible. So much for that superior care our free market system is supposed to provide. I have a large mole, that is currently and suddenly become very painful, and I have a nasty history of skin cancer in my family. I am of Northern European decent, blonde, fair, with blue eyes, I am considered HIGH risk on this one.

This is my journey just today.

Call #1 – To my insurance company
Freelancer’s Union has changed my health insurance plan three times in three years. I feel like I have to call before I even begin this process. Total hold time about 10 minutes, all I am asking them is do I need a referral? And how should I go about finding a doctor? They tell me I don’t need a referral. Great. Here we go. I do a simple search, Dermatology, Female Doctor preferred. I go straight down the list provided on the website of my insurer. I know from experience, and was warned by my insurance company, ask if they still take your insurance FIRST. The list has supposedly been updated 5/20/09.

Call #2 Doctor #1 – Phone number is no longer in service

Call #3 Doctor #2 – Get a receptionist, she doesn’t know if they take my insurance transfers me, accidentally hangs up on me.

Call #4 Doctor #3 – The hospital a block away from my apartment, they can take me, but not until July. I can’t wait that long. That knocks about half of the doctors off of my list as many were from this exact hospital and department.

Call #5 Doctor #4 – Harlem Hospital, after going through two receptionists, a third tells me I need a referral, through the hospital. So I have to make a first appointment with a doctor through Harlem Hospital first, before I can even attempt to make a second appointment. This is contrary to what my insurance has told me. The woman actually raises her voice with me I hang up. I can’t go through two appointments I need to see someone ASAP.

Call #6 Doctor #5 – Phone rings repeatedly no answer.

Call #7 Doctor #6 – Earliest appointment June 10th, I decide to take it, they will take my insurance. I begin to make appointment, then I am accidentally hung up on.

Call #8 Doctor #6 – I make the appointment, stressing that I need to get this thing off of me immediately. I can’t make multiple appointments. The receptionist tells me that he can’t assure me anything. I finally make the appointment, with a MALE doctor, all the way down on 59th Street. Again I live about a block from a huge hospital. I stress that I need the biopsy done immediately. I am trying to avoid the doctor, wasting my time to simply look at what any physician would call a high risk mole, (its large, its bled, its painful, is has grown, it is two colors, history of skin cancer in my family) only to then set up a second appointment several days from the first, to actually remove this thing. I fear the doctor will actually do this because why not? More appointments for his office, more money for him, more co-pays for me.

So I am now hoping that the mole that hurts to the touch on my chest is not cancer, and that it doesn’t somehow kill me or spread in the next three weeks or six weeks if the doctor decides to drag this out. Again I have nothing to compare my experience with, but every time I have actually tried to use the insurance I spend several thousand dollars a year on, I have a similar frustrating experience. My usual wait time to get an appointment of any kind with any doctor is about 2-3 weeks. Normally that doesn’t get me that upset as I hate going to the doctor and would rather avoid the whole process entirely, but this time I feel like I need to get in ASAP.

And I would love to find a doctor the old-fashioned way, by using our market based system to find the best out there. But from years of this grief, I have found it isn’t worth it to find the best doctor, or a doctor recommended by friends. The likelihood that the doctor will take my insurance is so slim, that I don’t bother. At it stands it took 8 calls just to get a completely random doctor. So much for all of that free choice.

Now I have plenty of libertarian and right wing friends who will claim that our health care system is the best out there, and they will cite several horror stories from other countries memorized from the likes of websites and books. Well that is all well and good, but I have plenty of my own, FIRST HAND accounts and personal experience of the hell that is the American system. As I predict that I am going to have a rough time of this, I will continue to post. More to come………

And if you have your own American Health insurance horror story, PLEASE SHARE!!!!